reality hurts

Not usually woken by messages that come in during the night but I guess it was meant to wake me
And it finally sunk in that you are gone and I'm alone once again.

tearing me apart

I just want to runaway and cry

I don't know what to do

You're tearing my heart apart and I feel like all I can do is stand here and watch it happen. 

I don't want to deal with this right now

It's just terrible timing

What do you want? 

Why is it so hard to control emotions

I just wanted to live an emotion free life for a while

I wanted to focus on myself

but you're always on my mind

life's tough, I guess I gotta be tougher

I hope I make the right choices

As much as I desperately wanted to be in denial, you win, you got me.

I really don't know how to tell you this so maybe you'll find it here one day.
But there's a large part of me that's scared of you and scared of the future.
I don't know what to do, riding it out is turning out to be a lot tougher than expected